Miss Apple Bottom
by ashangel101010
Summary: Palladium and his friends go to New Orleans to party, it is there that he meets a very handsome, dark wizard.


Miss Apple Bottom

Suggested Themes: 1993

Main Themes- Black Betty by Ram Jam, Paparazzi by Lady Gaga

It was February 23, 1993 when Mardi Gras was being celebrated in New Orleans. It was a time of great joy for the humans since they get to drink all they want, eat all they want, and dance all they want before Ash Wednesday hit. Well for magical creatures it was a chance to party and relax from their lives, most of them were of course teenagers looking for thrills and hoping to get laid or see a naughty girl. Yet it gave those magical beings, which appearances were considered "abnormal" to the humans, a chance to blend in and party hard. There are various magical beings that attend like fairies, vampires, and wizards. When people go missing during this jubilation, it's usually pined on the vampires since it's their chance to have a nice feast on the drunken, non-magical humans. Yet there was a rumor this year that a group of elves were going to attend this Mardi gras, what a joke! Elves hated associating themselves with other magical beings and rather die than do so, they were just so condescending! Most magical people's heads turn when they saw a group of elves walking, no strutting, down the street in New Orleans.

Palladium usually hated parties, for he was so used to the stiff, formal balls where people kept staring at him for being a Woodland Elf but loved how the humans got drunk and practically stripped here. He would've loved this even more if it wasn't the face he wasn't allowed a single drop of alcohol. He grimaced at how he lost in a game of poker, it was about who would be designated as the non-drinker so that they could get home safely and not wound up in some cesspool by accident. His friends, Lydia, Rydia, Gydia, Nydia, and Lucidia, get to be as drunk as the people here while he cannot. Life was so unfair.

He was especially dressed to dance and break a few hearts of the men in this jubilation. He had on a tight, apple green tank top that showed off his belly button while wearing tight-fitting dark navy denim jeans that belled at the ankles. He had on these light brown, open-toed high-heel shoes that showed off his red toenails and his nails were also painted like this, Lydia sure did love giving makeovers he thought. His hair was straightened and reaches his waist; the bangs cropped his earth-kissed face and wide brown eyes. He has a touch of light-brown eye shadow and some mascara, but not a lot since his eyes were very noticeable on their own. Oh he felt like such a naughty little boy or a harlot as Lydia playfully calls him.

The girls dragged Palladium inside a bar called, "O'Leary's Bar" obviously this was an Irish bar. There was loud music coming from the stereos, so many people were practically making out on the dance floor or even humping each other, he frowned for the lack of dancing. The girls headed straight for the counter and ordered some shots of tequila, they were going to see how long it will take to get drunk from just tequila. He just ordered some ice tea and drank it down, and then he felt someone yank him from his seat. He stared up to see a tall herculean blonde that reeked of alcohol.

"Hey baby, wanna make a baby?" Oh great a guy who uses cheesy pick-up lines, he thought.

"How can two guys make a baby?" His voice seethed with venom. The guy looked horrified and backed away from him, is guys here that horrified by homosexuality? He watches as Lydia flirts with a guy next to her, he almost laughed out loud at her poor attempts of landing a guy. She actually walked away from the guy for not being employed, that's so like her he thought. He got bored and left the bar and headed for the dance floor, he really liked the song that was playing now. It was time to show these people how better he was at dancing they were!

"Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)  
Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)"

He struts to the dance floor and dramatically stomps his heels to the beat and thrusts into the air. He made a dirty motion to some guys at the corner of the bar that were drinking "wine", the guys were obviously vampires and the wine is blood but these drunken humans couldn't even tell. Hell half them would be feasted upon by the time midnight comes.

"Black Betty had a child (Bam-ba-Lam)  
The damn thing gone wild (Bam-ba-Lam)  
She said, "I'm worryin' outta mind" (Bam-ba-Lam)  
The damn thing gone blind (Bam-ba-Lam)  
I said Oh, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)  
Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)"

He captures everyone attention, except his friends who were drinking, he just kept dancing and rocking his hips to the music. He did everything he could to show off his hips, stomach, and of course his hair, some tried dancing with him but he pushes them away. The vampires were staring intently at him, like a wolf would to a deer.

"Oh, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)  
Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)"

That was his aim the entire time to get everyone's attention, especially the vampires. He always wanted to dance with a vampire, would it be possible to dance with three? He shot a suggestive glance at them and then returns his eyes to the audience and the throng of guys waiting for his attention; it's so great to be desired!

"She really gets me high (Bam-ba-Lam)  
You know that's no lie (Bam-ba-Lam)  
She's so rock steady (Bam-ba-Lam)  
And she's always ready (Bam-ba-Lam)  
Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)  
Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)"

The vampires were tired of watching and came to the dance floor to join him; oh they were all so handsome. They were all the same lithe build and were nearly a foot taller than Palladium, except each of them has different features. There was one with curly brown hair and dark green eyes, another has long blonde hair with icy eyes, and the last one has black that is slicked back with mocha colored eyes.

"Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)  
Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)"

The brown-haired one has a mix dance style of salsa and tango, oh he loved his grinding. The blonde-haired one was much more rigid and reserved than the other one, but he shows more respect for him. The last one was his favorite of all, he was as exciting as the first one but has the respect of the second one; he chose this one over the other two.

"She's from Birmingham (Bam-ba-Lam)  
Way down in Alabam' (Bam-ba-Lam)  
Well, she's shakin' that thing (Bam-ba-Lam)  
Boy, she makes me sing (Bam-ba-Lam)  
Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)  
Whoa, Black Betty  
BAM-BA-LAM"

The other two left, realizing that Palladium and their friend prefer each other. When the song was about to the end the vampire threw Palladium up in the air and caught, the audience erupted in a tremendous roar of clapping and whistles. The vampire had to go and Palladium gave him a quick peck on the cheek as a thank you, he went to the outside ledge of the bar for some time to relax. The stars were twinkling, the air was cool, and there were no drunken frat boys outside. It was so peaceful.

"O God has made the heavens, the moon, the earth, and the sun, but you are the best of all his creations." The voice penetrated the night air; he turns and spots a handsome stranger. He has pale skin and long red hair; he had bright blue eyes and a red soul patch on his chin. He has on a tight black t-shirt and a black leather motorcycle jacket on top with black jeans and black combat boots. His voice reminded him of a knight from medieval times and he loves it.

"That was by far the most beautiful compliment I ever had, but maybe you should tell this to a person who hasn't grown up with atheistic beliefs." He said and smirked at him. The man just smirked right back and gave him a look like he was seeing if he really existed.

"What you've never seen an elf before?" He asked.

"Oh I have seen elves, but not as one quite like you." He replied. Palladium rolled his eyes and figures this was about how much darker he was than the Light Elves.

"I'm half Woodland elf if you must know and the other half is definitely not Light elf." He said irritably.

"I'm sorry for offending you, but I was talking about your beauty not your skin color." He said. Palladium immediately felt embarrassed and blushed, he then apologized to him.

"I'm just so use to people judging me by my 'heritage' rather than my character." He says.

"So many people judge you for it; maybe you should act like your stereotype." He said.

"To the Light Elves, those who aren't my friends, they believe Woodland Elves are wild and do whatever they feel like." Palladium said. He chuckles at Palladium and looks like he was going to give some wise advice

"Then my advice to you is act wild and selfish while you still can." He said. Palladium raked his hand through his hair and some rose petals come out and he lets them go, the wind will carry them across the city. It was odd how the man didn't ask why he has rose petals in his hair; he must've seen stranger things he thought. The man gently grabbed a handful of his hair and inhaled the scent, he then kissed it and Palladium couldn't help but blush.

"I-I have to go and make sure my friends are okay! See ya!" He squeaked out and ran back into the garden. A woman with a pink tube-top and green miniskirt wearing white go-go boots, she has long pink hair in a ponytail and bright blue eyes, watched as Palladium flee and approached the man.

"Nice to see you again Ogron, it's been like a century since I last saw you!" She said.

"Actually it's been about ninety-six years, Ariel." He corrected.

"Oh that's so sweet of you to count every year I've been gone!" She chirped.

"You were right." He said finally.

"What I was right about?" She asked.

"That Palladium was from the future, I just met his fifteen year old self." He said and Ariel squealed in joy.

"Yes that means Palladium must've went back to his old time and isn't dead or being held by some fairy as you claimed." She said. Ogron immediately glared at her and she just sticks her tongue out at him.

"Why the Hell would I believe time traveling actually existed at the time." He said.

"Well the past is the past and don't you start getting any funny ideas now! I won't let you create some paradox just because you want him to stay!" She said.

"Don't worry I won't all I have to do is wait about sixteen years and I'll be reunited with him again. Until then I'll just continue fairy hunting." He said and Ariel gave him an incredulous look.

"You know if he finds out that you rip off fairy wings to gain power, he'll never forgive you!" She said.

"Oh please spare me your useless speech about how I should give up fairy hunting! You know full well that once I start something I won't stop until I succeed and finish it. And besides Palladium is far too sweet, even if stubborn, to hate me but he'll be pissed off with me for an indefinite amount of time." He said.

"Well at least you admit it. Here, consider this a reward for being honest with yourself." She said and shoved a pack of cigarettes in his hands.

"You know I can mystically conjure up some fags if I want to." He said.

"Well I don't want you to waste your magic on something insignificant as that, and if memory serves he told me about receiving a 'smoky' kiss from a man matching your description. So have fun!" She said and walked right back to the bar. He just stares at the box of fags and then back Ariel, and cracks a mischievous grin.

"Girls get down this tree this instant!" Palladium ordered. His friends, all drunk and out of it, were up a tree and just singing off-key to "It's Raining Men" by Weather Ladies. He was trying to coax them down because he worries that they'll fall off and crack their skulls wide open.

"It's raining men hallelujah, it's raining men!" Nydia chimed.

"No way Palladium y-you should like um come up and uh join us!" Lydia slurred. Oh they reek of so much alcohol! It amazed him how they weren't raped, kidnapped, or eaten by the vampires.

"No come down from there this instance." He pounded his fists into to the tree after every word he said to emphasize his point. The girls just giggled and Rydia shushed them, she spelled the tree causing Palladium to be stuck halfway in the tree. The waist up was stuck on the inside, while the rest was stuck on the outside.

"Hey un-spell me this instance or I'll rat you all out to your parents!" He ordered irritably.

"Dear goodness does he ever shut up?" Gydia asked.

"W-Well I'm gonna-gonna make him uh shut up!" Lydia said and used a spell to shut him up. This spell actually put an apple in Palladium's mouth and he muffled for help.

"Hey Doll this spell will be broken once someone tries to pull you from the tree!" Lydia said.

"But were all the way up here and your ability to cast a spell is block, so we'll just have to wait a while!" Rydia said. Palladium tried to spit the apple out but it was to no avail since the apple was between his teeth.

"Oh here's one now!" Lydia said excitedly.

"Illusius branchus." She shouted. The girls now look like they were branches that were part of the tree, while Palladium was still stuck. Palladium felt himself being pulled from the tree and was immediately dropped onto the ground, the ground was soft so it didn't hurt his ass much.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me." The man said and Palladium realizes it was the same man from before.

"Mpff!" That was the only sound coming from his sound because the apple muffled it; the spell prevented him from removing it on his own. He waved his arms wildly and pointed at the apple, trying to get the man to pull it out. The man stared at him a bit amused and pulled the apple from his mouth and threw it somewhere.

"Oh thank you for helping me!" Palladium breathlessly said.

"No problem Miss Apple Bottom." He said. The girls giggled at that, they were barely containing their own laughter and Palladium had to punch the tree a few times to drown out their giggling.

"My name is Palladium, not Miss Apple Bottom." He corrected.

"Well your ass was sticking from a tree and when I pulled you out an apple was in your mouth and you look so effeminate, so that's how I was inspired to call you that." He said. Palladium glared at him and punched the tree several times to drown out the girls' laughter again.

"Thank you again for helping me out and all, but shouldn't you be going somewhere?" Palladium asked. It was just then a small drop of water hit Palladium's nose and it then rain came pouring down, almost like someone casted a spell. The man took off his leather jacket and used it shield himself from the rain, Palladium wished he brought a jacket too.

"Since you're so small, the jacket can shield us both." He said. Palladium glared at him for the small comment, but he went under the jacket. He could feel the warmth from this man; it was like he was a sauna. Oh he felt nice and warm, he almost cuddled into him. The rain stopped as soon as it came, which was like a few minutes. Palladium quickly scooted out from under the jacket and away from the man.

"Here you keep it; I have plenty at hime anyway." He said threw the jacket at Palladium, who caught it. The man took pout a fag and lit it up with a lighter, he inhaled deeply and blew out a puff of smoke.

"So aren't you going to leave now?" Palladium asked.

"Oh I will but I have to finish one final thing first." He said.

"Oh and that is?" Palladium asked. He was instantly pulled close and to Ogron's chest, he could smell the cigarette smoke and some cologne he was wearing. Ogron took one final puff of the cigarette before dropping it to the ground and crushing it with his heel; he grasped Palladium's face and smashed his and Palladium's lips together. He taste like smoke and peppers, the smoke overpowered it though. Ogron's tongue overpowered Palladium's and he literally bruised his lips, he pulled away from Palladium and blew him a lewd kiss before leaving. Palladium panted and tried to remember what happened in the last few minutes, he got kiss by some stranger again! First he loses his first kiss to Baltor and now to some stranger he just met!

"Wow that was so hot!" Rydia said and climbs down from the tree; the rest of girls came down one by one except Nydia who was in a state of shock.

"Nydia what's wrong?" Lucidia asked.

"P-Palladium don't you know who just kissed you?" Nydia asked him. He shook his head no and she looked very concerned.

"Well you just got kissed by Ogron, the leader of the Wizards of the Black Circle! They hunt fairies and rip their wings off to gain power, but only the Earth ones, that are why Earth pretty much has no magic." She said. Palladium blushed furiously and wanted to know why he always gets kissed by all these evil wizards! Would it kill fate to just give him some nice guy who didn't damage the universe somehow? Well at least he has a new jacket now, now if only he could meet a paladin.


End file.
